Have you ever ?

Terrible Rainy Tuesday. 

Such a heavy rain all over Kuching and my heart rains,the heaviest.

Let me put up some questions for 'ya to relate.

Have you ever suddenly being thrown to the corner without knowing why?

 Have you ever felt so down that you keep on filling all your minds with all those unnecessary things?
 Have you ever felt that everyone is trying to run away from you and you just don't know why?
 Have you ever felt that everything bad happens because of you and you keep on blaming yourself?
 Have you ever make mistakes without you didn't even realise and people just treat you differently without any further notice or talks? 
Have you ever being treated badly without any reasons?
Have you ever tried to be nice but people just can't accept you and taught you are trying to take advantage and just leave?
Have you ever tried to fit in and all they taught that you are just being a busybody and you are so out of the league?
Have you ever being back stabbed so bad that you just can't trust anyone else any more,even yourself?
Have you ever had the fear of making new contacts because you do not want the same thing to happen again like in the past?
Have you ever wanted to be just,alone,to rethinking what goes on in your life and all they think you are trying to run away from 'em?
Have you ever reigned so hard for the departed loved ones' loves,care and hugs? And you just wished that every time you blinked,you hope that they will be standing just in front of you?
Have you ever tried to love and treat everyone the same without any discrimination but there will always be a few who can't accept the way you do?
Have you ever tried to apologise but it seems like you were talking to yourself the whole time?
Have you ever being asked for a help but you are not very clear on what to lend and how?
Have you ever being accused of what you are actually not are?
Have you ever tried to lend a hand but just not being translated well?
Have you ever tried to be a good friend / person but you are always being accused wrongly?
Have you ever taught that people will be much better without you in their life?
Have you ever wonder why did you get into this situation so much?
Have you ever taught that why does everything you did,they must taught that it relates to them and cause unnecessary problems?
Have you ever felt so hateful of yourself because of all the things you had did but people only sees the negative side?
Have you ever tried to stop living and see what and how do people feel of it?
Have you ever had a problem,wanted to talk it out and express your feeling but you just can't do so because you are so afraid of the person's reaction and the potential of news spreading which was suppose to be a secret?

I do,all of it.

I never had an intention to hurt or be mad at someone for no clear reasons. Strong on the outside doesn't guarantees what happens inside. All you might see is the hysterical laugh and wide smile,but you will never know what's going on inside the heart, the fragile heart of mine. Once broken,you just can't mend it any more. Every time it breaks, the small fragment is too delicate, fine, to be mend back. The cracks are all shown up. There's nothing that you can add up to make it looks perfect any more. I'm differ from others because we are all not the same! You just can't expect me to be just like the rest.
I might not realise my own mistakes but please just don't go berserk on the little things,instead,lets just sit down and talk, talk nicely on what I had did that may had hurt someone unintentionally and I will never denies my mistake,instead I never want to keep grudge and let it eats me innerly,slowly. I may look mature but that does not mean that you should expect me to think like one,and think beyond the infinity. Instead, please guide me if whenever things seems to be out of control.

I really am sorry for everything that may had hurt you unintentionally or intentionally.
If you want me to say it in front of you,please don't get mad more at me because I am a bad apologizer when it comes to seeing eye to eye. How do you expect me to do so when I knew you were being so mad at me over the things I don't realise of ? 
You see, I'm imperfect,so do you. All I want is to be a good person,day to day.
I never foresee this,the thing that I HATE THE MOST,thing that I tried to avoid,but it always feeds and sticks on me. I taught that I can count on you if I had a problem to be share and find ways to solve it.



Dear Lord,
I know you are around me,I seek ye to strengthen my soul and enlighten my path that I may find the solution to all this. Forgive me for chasing upon the earthly things instead of praising and pray to You. Soften the heart and let no grudge upon each other.
I lift this to Jesus Christ our Lord,
Amen.

Love,

cath.

Oh,so you want to be a motivator huh?

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

This was taken about 4 years back in KK. on our way to one of the island in Sabah, i forgot the name.

 sorry =/

So back to the topic.

People nowadays love to be a motivator. But the reason why i can't accept what they said is that,they speak so much words of motivating others but at the other hand,they themselves don't even practises what they preach. Please,i hate it SO DAMN MUCH..

We are all sinners. So why would you compare someone with the others?

So if u think u are such a perfect person,perhaps earth is not where you belong. because NOBODY'S PERFECT.

Please,again,I have my own story which you would never understand unless you are the one who brings me to the earth. Watch what you say/type before posting it out. You might feel like you are always right but you don't realise that you hurts someone else's feeling pun-intendedly or not.. Doesn't mean you are older,you know everything,and young doesn't mean they don't know a single thing!

Its not that I don't want to take in al the words,its just that AGAIN,i will not take it from someone who doesn't even know what they are saying. URGH

XO,

cath

Where are you love bird ?

Hey ya! So sorry for the late update,was quite buzy with my college life. Assignments,trips and much more that will (i believe in the future) can build up into the new Mount Everest. Since I'm taking Hotel Management,it involves a lot of going around to see how others do in the field. So we recently had our very first trip to Bako. No words can describes how much fun we had together. =) Bittersweet memories.


Back to the main topic.
Few days ago,had a conversation with someone. Told them that I never dated someone in my 18 years of life till today,of course no one believed me. Why? I would never know why. Only He,the Almighty one knows. Because he holds my future. I had a few experience before where I taught that maybe I can actually feel how its like to be someone's, a stranger loved ones besides than family.
And to my expectation, I will always be the one person who seems to be talking to herself.
Got turned down is one of the favourite words that are frequently used in my dictionary.
Since then, whenever I feel like I found someone that perhaps can share my world, I will be really scared to actually say it out until without realising it,it leaves a mark in me. Watching him got into other person's world is quite hard to accept and swallow down. Let me share you a story of someone called ME.

1. I was still a young teenager back then, liked that someone, talk and talk and suddenly one day I don't actually know why till now, he just went MIA. Perhaps I'm too scary for him. Since then,I can't seem to find him and just as a friend, talk again. But well,who would have want to let the person who scares them into their life again.

2. 3-4 years back then, met this someone at someone's special occasion. Found him quite cute and funny in his own way. Text back and forth,never on the phone. So one day I decided that I should spill the beans and tell him what every other person would do if they liked them,tell him. AND OF COURSE, I'm his sister by words. not againnnnnnn. His reason? I have way too far to go yet and embark my journey with someone better. Classic,very classic. Perhaps one day, I should write a novel. GOOD IDEA, and i should make a movie out of it. Till now,he hadn't belong to anyone but the light is too dim to re-ignite. But one thing that makes me adore him more is that,he is someone that can be positive every time you're feeling too much negativity in you.

3. Met the wrong person @ playboy @ jerk. NUFF SAID.



Whatever it is for now, I'm here,walking the new path in life. Trying to focus and get myself used to it and slowly seeping in the new environment.
I don't need any more negativity in my life so I'm very glad to let go all of the past.
Let He decides whats best for His beloved children.

so lets end this with some of my favourite quotes in a picture =)

i love the message.

sounds familiar.

and lastly..........

Love,

cath.

Just another manic monday... =/

Fuuuuuh wow. It is official,I am a very-very rusty piece of machine . Had our 'National Kesatria' class and the objective for  the class today is to have our fitness test. And the test that we(my classmates and i) have to go through is RUN (in my case,run → jog → walk → crawl) 2.4KM hew hew hew. So the marks are given by how fast you complete the race,well not really a race anyway.15 mins and below are given 10 points So i completed it after 12 minutes and 35 seconds ! PERSONAL RECORD! So,as soon as i finished,i literally,crawl and drag my ass on the floor to reach my water bottle and an instant CHEST PAIN strikes,OH MY.. OH SO HUMILIATING. but who cares,I'm not the only one anyway =) Haven't been exercise like FOREVER. oops.
I don't like the feeling of work out all alone. why?

1. The silence is so loud when you are working out alone. AWKWARD.

2. We all need motivation and someone to smack our ass whenever we skip any work-out 
     routine,so that we stay motivated,DON'T WE?

3. There must be someone by our side "sight-seeing" while working out,IS A MUST.

You don't really have to go the gym actually to work out. Our room is our private gym. What you going to have as your 'equipments' are big mineral bottle( filled it full with water,or better,SAND) as your DUMBell. A yoga mat for pumping or any workouts that may need you to do it on the floor. You don't want to get any bruises because of the hard floor.


Goodluck to anyone out there who is trying to work out =)

                                                   

      OH RYAN.

My Favourite Eating Place Part 1

Flashback Friday!

                                                           I miss my ombre hair =(

Now,back to the main topic.
I have too many favourite eating place but  there are few which really stands out. ( mostly are serving non-halal food,sorry my muslim friends =/ )



1.Best Green Noodle,Chong Chon Cafe

2. Best Ayam Penyet ,Raja Ayam Penyet

3. Best Western Style Pork,Porkies

 *sorry,no pic for this,cant find any proper ones.*
BUT IT IS REALLY2 TASTY!

4. Best Budget-saving place to hang out
   PEACH GARDEN / 101 

5. Best Western Food with reasonable price and BIG PORTION

      SHARING PLANET!

All those pictures are making me hungry and probably i will chow down this laptop if i dont move my ass from this chair and cook.

That's all for now.

p/s : there will be PART 2!

bye! xoxo

Terrific Addiction

Terrific Thursday!
What a day. Whole Sarawak's electricity was shut off for more than an hour.
But,secretly,I LIKE BLACKOUT =D!
I just don't know why. Maybe the darkness?The empty sound? It actually calms me down.Seriously it really does.All this gadgets,technologies makes me sometimes very2 unhappy. Maybe because of the radar?
Well forget about it. Today,i am going to share you about my addiction of PRETTY FASHION IN A PIC,FUNNY ANIMALS PICS,FOODS,and more.In short,PHOTOS/PICTURES CAPTURED,neither edited or pretty on its own.So let me share with you some of my favourites =D

This is my current laptop wallpaper.GROOVY.

My personal favourite =')

A perfect set up for a relaxing day!

Vintage photos is also my favourite.

I LOVE DOGS.so this automatically catch my eyes.

I hope that one day i have the opportunity to do this kind of photoshoot.

If the streets wwere painted like this,life would never be so dull.

I like beetles too! 

just to groovy.

                                           This would be my expression after a long tiring day.














Most of the photos are taken from www.weheartit.com

Thats all for now! as always,end with a picture.

someone taking someone's who is taking someones else picture of someone taking a picture of someone.

The Importance of Breakfast

Hello Pello Mello. Back for the day.
I was having my kitchen class today.And the theme for today is BREAKFAST. As you all know,breakfast is the MOST CRUCIAL meal of the day. Some people tend to skip 'em because :
1. woke up when its already time for lunch,perhaps,afternoon tea.
2. budget. (brunch sounds more interesting to them)
3. some people actually don't have the appetite to eat like EARLY in the morning.Especially  heavy  breakfast( i wonder how are my dearly malay friends take in their sahur during fasting month =/) i admit that me myself are one of them too.. =D

Skipping breakfast not only makes you tend to eat more during the next meal,which means more calorie intakes,but just think about it,when your stomach does'nt have anything to digest on,the HCL(hydrochloric acid) or the non-science name,gastric juice will eventually eat up your stomach lining which gives you that burning sensation in your stomach and the other symptoms are,dizzy,feels like your going to faint and short of breath.(based on my experience). If you do this often,you will soon catch a gastric which could lead to any unwanted death! (based on the story i had,which really occurs)

SO PLEASE DON'T EVER SKIP YOUR BREAKFAST!
Do as i did.Whenever i have early morning class,i will make sure that i filled my tumbler with a hot milo,grab a few packs of biscuits(jacob's are my favorite!) and there you have it,simple but at least something as a fuel for the day. Want to know more about breakfast?
Read about it on my sister's blog http://salt-pepper-sugar-spice.blogspot.com/2013/06/famous-breakfast-around-world.html

Well,thats all for today! Be back soon!

                                                               I LOVE NUTELLA!
                              This would be me(well,not with that english complexion.) !
                                                             

Comeback tournament with blog.

So, i just deleted my last sound-kinda-stupid-blog. Made a new one because trying to forget some "unfavourite event" .. My last blog was just a "thing" for me to ran away from boredom. I remember i was still in Form 3. That period when people my age(back then) are so desperately looking for a part time job. I was 'planting grapes' at home for a few weeks,but then i tried and search for any part-time jobs,lucky enough i got one. My mistake is that i didn’t get the pro's and con's clearly,got fired because i have to leave earlier for a family trip. Well,i don't lose anything basically.WHATEVER. hahahah

turned the future wheel down the road,here i am today,sitting,trying to figure what to write while bobo is insisting me to play with her and glared me with her soulful puppy eyes (O_O). Well,not exactly like that.(can’t find any other more bobo-like face)

This is the result after being ignored for long.

I actually,personally really glad to finish high school.No offense friends.FYI,i am mentally,emotionally and physically effingly disturbed and unstable for few times(i guess most of the time). I never had a friend whom shares the same neighbourhood,goes to the same school at the same time. I have quite a slight (much) difficulty during my senior year. why?

1.I am the only non-chinese.yeah GET THAT? its not that i don't prefer making friends with other races,i loved it actually,the more friends,the better! but,yeah. You will get what i mean deep there. =/

2. Language barrier. Although i do speak mandarin,but i yearn for that someone whom i can scream,go berserk or go randomly stupid in the class that speaks the same language with me that no one else can understand.

3. Dramas,dramas everywhere. Nuff said.

4. Hypocrasy. U knew what i mean here.

5. Like no.2,since 99 percent are chinese,the teachers speak in mandarin MOST of the time.

so they expect me to understand everything.

6. I sat alone for the whole 2 years because on the first day of school,i was the last to come into the class and to choose my seat. Thus,i have no one to discuss about works. And that is why i always secretly sat at back row where i had someone(few to be exact) to help me in my work,but still . =(

And that is why I felt so much relieved after finishing my SPM. while most people eagerly want to go back high school. Different people,different personality,am i right?

I don't need to be symphatise because everything happens for a reason.

Cheers and smile because an adventure awaits!